I met a wonderful Christian man about 10 years ago.  I think I’d just turned 19 and he was 30 going on 31.  He was the General Manager at a College Professors restaurant and I was working in the kitchen completing my culinary internship.  I was so carefree at the time and didn’t care much about relationships.  I was too busy doing me and trying to get my college education out of the way.

However, sometimes thing just seem to fall right into our lap or better yet right into place. The day I walked into the kitchen I met the staff and as I made my way through the building, a handsome looking gentleman started walking toward me and stretched out his hand to meet mine.  I thought to myself “Oh wow, he is handsome!”, but I didn’t think much of it.  Eventually we would become very close friends and our friendship would turn into love.

Fast forward 10 years and I find myself at a crossroads.  I never though our love would blossom into what it is now.  He is a wonderful man, loving, caring, kind hearted, respectful, trustworthy, honest, God fearing,  and so much more.  So many good qualities but my family is stuck on two things…..  For one, he is 12 years older than me and two, he is African American.  I know many say that this doesn’t matter but unless you live in it, it’s hard to explain.

To my parents, this is a big culture shock and they aren’t so happy that he is so much older than me either.  My siblings are all okay with the relationship.  My mother has expressed concern but also wants my happiness so she is accepting.  The true challenge is my father.  He sees me as his baby girl and wants nothing but the best for me yet he doesn’t see how much he is hurting me.

When I first brought my boyfriend home, my father refused to meet him.  I tried to do all the right things but after a few tries, my father disowned me and I lost the most important man in my life, my daddy. He didn’t take the time to get to know my boyfriend and he had all these erroneous preconceived notions about African Americans.  I tried over an over to explain that we are all the same in God eyes and that skin color is just that, a color.

To him it was much more than a color, it was this sea of unknowns that couldn’t be crossed.  He didn’t realize that when he made that journey across the border all those years back, he was bringing his children into a melting pot.  A country where we would be raised among Anglos, African Americans, Asians, Indians, etc…  I would grow among the nations and that would become part of me, part of my culture.

Now, this wonderful man has proposed to spend the rest of his life with me and I excitedly said yes.  With the situation and all, I did pray prior to saying yes and can assure it wasn’t a rash decision.  I’d asked for God’s guidance and asked for confirmation that this was the man he had set aside for me.  I received my confirmation but I’m still torn between love and family.  I find myself at a crossroads… I don’t want to loose my father but marrying my boyfriend would unfortunately mean saying bye to my father.

I know this is not how he truly feels and I can only pray that God open his eyes and clear his heart of any hate, resentment, bitterness and anger.  I hope he sees how much I appreciate all his struggles and hard work.  That he know I do not take him for granted and will forever be in debt to him for all he did for our family.  I wouldn’t be where I am if it wasn’t for him.  I love him so much and I don’t think I’ll ever truly be happy without his love.

Lacey Magnolia